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Post by elvisuk on Jun 15, 2011 18:24:36 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today will be the best day of your life, if you can just remember ... er ... now what was that? Hmmm. If you can just remember something really important. Otherwise, no. Hmmm.
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Post by marcus on Jun 16, 2011 6:47:58 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Dorothy Parker once said "if you can't say anything nice, come sit next to me." Today that will be strangely relevant to your own situation.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 16, 2011 12:40:38 GMT
www.humorscope.com/
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Life is beginning to bet a bit stale, isn't it? Whenever that happens to me, I concoct some sort of prune-related recipe and send it off to the food editor of the local daily. You might give that a try.
(I used to love prunes and custard, school dinners)
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 16, 2011 13:34:41 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
A small packet containing 7 oddly-colored bean seeds will arrive in the mail today. There will be no return address, nor any indication of what they are. Only one way to find out...
I bet that made you go LynnRose  ;D
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 16, 2011 14:26:20 GMT
Lol, can't remember
Hey, how's the beanstalk coming along?
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Post by marcus on Jun 17, 2011 6:02:10 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will use the phrase "hep-cat daddy-o" one too many times, and your friends will tie you to a chair, and gag you.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 17, 2011 13:26:08 GMT
Lol @ yours Marcus....
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Tomorrow when you wake up, you'll make an unpleasant discovery. Sometime during the night, you'll have been visited by the nostril hair fairy.
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 17, 2011 18:14:29 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will pass a sign that says "invorp" today. Fortunately, you will remember enough Dutch to know that it means "put your fingers in your ears and wiggle them." They are a silly people, the Dutch.
Well it's all Dutch too me  ;D
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Post by marcus on Jun 18, 2011 6:05:13 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today the universe will stop expanding, and start contracting. You will be the only one who notices. Also, you will develop a strange desire to wear golf shoes.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 18, 2011 12:40:28 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you will realize that you've always wanted to have the biggest ball of string in town, and will start collecting odd bits of string at every opportunity. Eventually, you will make it into the Guiness Book of World Records, right next to the Giant Happy Tape Ball record set by Mr. S. Boondoggle.
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 18, 2011 13:20:26 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will irritate people. In fact, you'll irritate yourself.
O no i won't ;D
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 19, 2011 14:03:01 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
In a rather bizarre and unfortunate turn of events today, your lips will go ballistic. Shortly thereafter, your Ziggy Marley accent will kick in. You will be comforted to know that those are simply the first two signs of a "spaz attack", which is more common than most people realize, and usually non-fatal.
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Post by marcus on Jun 20, 2011 7:22:37 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
A Ph.D. degree in parapsychology is in your future. Despite what you may have heard, however, the corresponding career path is not terribly rewarding. You will get to see a lot of furniture move by itself, of course, so that's a plus.
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 20, 2011 13:51:39 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Excellent day for standing barefoot on the lawn and wiggling your toes. Under no circumstance should you stand barefoot on the lawn and wiggle your nose. It simply isn't done.
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 20, 2011 19:22:57 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You've been yodelling in your sleep, again. Is it any wonder that you've been having trouble with your romantic relationships?
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Post by marcus on Jun 21, 2011 9:50:10 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Slow day today. Surprisingly, it will be due to a time/space anomaly caused by a localized anti-tachyon surge, and will mainly occur in your neighborhood. Time-flow should return to normal soon.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 21, 2011 16:58:13 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Time to stop beating around the bush. Beat the bush itself. Give it a good thrashing, and say "bad bush!" in a loud stern tone.
www.humorscope.com/
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 21, 2011 19:00:55 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Beware of Poles. Particularly dark-haired women of Polish extraction. Due to an oddity of genetic significance, they will all be intensely silly for a few weeks.
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Post by marcus on Jun 22, 2011 7:18:42 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will have more psychotronic energy today than usual. I recommend that you direct it towards the fridge. There's something alive in there.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 22, 2011 11:05:45 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You've been finding that the best-laid plans of mice and men often go astray. Or is that awry? Awiggly? It's something along those lines. Anyway, the thing to do is to fire your mice.
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 22, 2011 12:32:58 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will discover a large black obelisk out on the lawn today, which obviously weighs several tons. You will be amazed at the effort some people put into a practical joke.
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Post by marcus on Jun 23, 2011 6:51:56 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to buy lava lamps at garage sales. Once in a life-time opportunity. Also, if you happen to spot a white 100% polyester leisure suit with bell-bottom pants and a really large lapel, buy it on the spot. I know *I* would love to have one.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 23, 2011 7:28:37 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
About your new idea... Sure, I'll bet you could sell your handmade voodoo dolls by marketing them over the Internet. The competition, however, can be "fierce." You might want to stop and consider how many flights of stairs you're interested in falling down, before you commit yourself to that course of action...
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 23, 2011 13:58:20 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will be walking along today when you overhear someone making a snide remark about you, drawing an unflattering comparison between your personality, and landfill. A snappy reply will occur to you, sometime late next week.
Yep thats about right 
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Post by marcus on Jun 24, 2011 6:11:27 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will get one of those pimples that just suddenly appears, and you will only notice it when you glance in the mirror after a very important meeting.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 24, 2011 7:16:06 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Excellent time to show the world that plaid and stripes do too mix. (Tip #12 of Arnold Pinknobble's "How To Get Noticed.")
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 24, 2011 18:34:03 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more, unless you've paid.
Don't ask
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Post by marcus on Jun 25, 2011 6:40:47 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today someone will accuse you of spending too much time with your computer. The way to handle that is to say you've got "lots of work to do." (And don't let them spot you fondly caressing it.)
Marcus
I can think of better things to caress!!! lol
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 25, 2011 15:12:58 GMT
I'm not going to ask 'what' Marcus!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will discover what Shakespeare actually meant, when he wrote "Hey nonny, nonny", in Much Ado About Nothing. It turns out that it was simply in-field chatter that somehow made it into the play, and that Shakespeare not only enjoyed softball, but was a reasonably good shortstop.
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 25, 2011 18:29:49 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will discover a really cool technique of whistling through your nose. Oddly, nobody will be terribly enthusiastic about your new talent.
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;D
;D
