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Post by marcus on Jun 26, 2011 7:21:00 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
This will be a very happy week for you. And you know what they've been saying about that for thousands of years, don't you? "Happy Good! Me Like Happy!"
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 26, 2011 12:28:12 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You've been trying to sell your car, and it just isn't going anywhere. Sometimes it helps if you have a name for your vehicle, to give it more character. I call mine the "Millennium Falcon". My passengers often become irritated at being called "Chewie", though.
www.humorscope.com/
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 26, 2011 18:05:14 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
This is a time when you need to hold on to your dreams. Or in other words, reality is becoming too much for you, and you should try to escape into a bizarre fantasy life. Heck, it works fine for Ross Perot, doesn't it?
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Post by marcus on Jun 27, 2011 7:45:06 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to excavate. You will find the ruins of an ancient civilization, and become famous.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 27, 2011 12:04:05 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
This might be a good time to refer to your roommate as "Watson" and say things like "The game's afoot!." Eventually, you'll be able to reconstruct an entire evening's events from a spilled drop of raspberry vinaigrette.
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 27, 2011 19:42:07 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) You will have an enormously exciting day, today, compared to your usual day. You will find the prize in the cereal box. That’s got to be Jojo whetabix  ) |
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 28, 2011 7:39:35 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Try to think of life as a game, today. For fun, make up new rules.
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Post by marcus on Jun 28, 2011 16:38:16 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
A package will arrive for you today, from a distant relative in Tibet. Scarlet-robed assassins will begin following you.
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 28, 2011 18:23:07 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Today you will turn over a new leaf. Good for you! We were all getting a little tired of you, you know, as you were. |
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Post by marcus on Jun 29, 2011 6:54:18 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
A tomato features in todays cuisine. Sadly, that's going to be your pinacle of excitement for today.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 29, 2011 12:46:36 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will start having strange dreams of becoming an aquatic creature. Eventually, you'll spend nearly all your time in the water, and will attempt to get strangers to throw you fish.
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 29, 2011 19:18:43 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Fortune will smile upon you today! That's what it does when it's just thought up a real corker.
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Post by marcus on Jun 30, 2011 5:59:27 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
A tomato features in todays cuisine. Sadly, that's going to be your pinnacle of excitement for today.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 30, 2011 11:44:32 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
A person wearing a bandana on his head and brandishing a cutlass will dash by you today, saying something that sounds a bit like "Arrrr".
Marcus...this is yours, not the other one 
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will find a small speckled egg, shimmering a little, in the fireplace. If you keep it warm in a 350 degree oven for 3 weeks, it will hatch into a small dragon, and then eat you.
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 30, 2011 13:49:55 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) You will find a many-legged creature under the fridge. Unfortunately, it will be the size of a small horse, and actually will be making off with the fridge, when you spot it. My advice? Let him have it. OK |
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Post by marcus on Jul 1, 2011 6:44:46 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You'll feel like you can't do anything right today. Unfortunately, it turns out you're right...
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 1, 2011 7:36:41 GMT
www.humorscope.com/
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will accidentally hit yourself on the head today, while putting away the dishes. While you won't be seriously injured, you will begin having strange dreams that you are a half-witted Leicestershire workman living in the year 1771. When you wake up, you won't really know if you're a present-day person who dreamed of being a half-witted workman, or vice versa. You'll also have the odd impression that someone named Lao Tsu is laughing at you... (That part is true.)
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 1, 2011 18:12:24 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
As Buckaroo Banzai said, "No matter where you go, there you are." Oddly, this will not be entirely the case for you, today.
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Post by marcus on Jul 2, 2011 6:28:38 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will lose all self-control. You'll find it again tomorrow, though -- it just rolled under the couch.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 2, 2011 12:45:54 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will develop a passion for Cajun cuisine, and will refuse to eat anything that hasn't been "blackened." Your family will draw the line at blackened corn flakes, however.
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 2, 2011 14:12:41 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will spend another entire day worried about your feet. But honestly, most people don't notice these things. On the other hand, most people don't spontaneously grow more toes, either.
    ;D
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Post by marcus on Jul 3, 2011 7:00:01 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You have exactly as much chance of having a decent day as you have of developing amazing telekinetic abilities that let you secretly give innocent passers-by a wedgie. Stay home. Breathe normally.
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 3, 2011 13:30:20 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You've heard that when economists use the word "nice", they're actually saying that something is homoscedastic and nonautoregressive. Today you will find out what they mean when they say something is "like, totally kewl."
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 3, 2011 13:45:46 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will be buffeted by hordes of people, who will all simultaneously show up in your office "just to chat." Eventually, you will make your escape by locking yourself in the bathroom.
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Post by marcus on Jul 4, 2011 7:00:37 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to sip tea. Remember to extend your pinkie!
Marcus
That's just what my pinkie needs!!!! lol
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 4, 2011 8:33:34 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Try to avoid nibbling on things today. Despite recent developments, you don't actually know your friend that well yet
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 4, 2011 14:51:47 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You'll be feeling tired and discouraged today, but will be able to raise your spirits by pretending to be a cartoon character. ACME products may be featured, as well.
Whats up doc ;D
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 5, 2011 7:22:35 GMT
www.humorscope.com/
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Between now and the vernal equinox, trust anyone with freckles. After that, trust no one.
(An equinox occurs twice a year, when the tilt of the Earth's axis is inclined neither away from nor towards the Sun, the center of the Sun being in the same plane as the Earth's equator. The term equinox can also be used in a broader sense, meaning the date when such a passage happens. The name "equinox" is derived from the Latin aequus (equal) and nox (night), because around the equinox, the night and day have approximately equal length.)
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 5, 2011 18:07:32 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Good day for political intrigue and underhanded sneakiness. Try to wear something appropriate to the occasion.
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Post by marcus on Jul 5, 2011 19:46:09 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Do not snitch a jelly donut today, when nobody is looking. The chocolate frosted one is much better.
Marcus
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