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Post by elvisuk on Jun 6, 2011 11:46:14 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will have a grilled cheese sandwich today, and a bowl of tomato soup. When nobody is looking you will secretly dunk your sandwich.
"you will secretly dunk your sandwich." I do not think so 
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 6, 2011 14:25:28 GMT
Why not....that would be yummy x
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Post by marcus on Jun 6, 2011 15:05:56 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
I see you making a special trip to the store today, to get something. It's in a sort of yellow-ish little box, about the size of a toothpaste box, I think. It's "prep-something"? Ah! "Preparation"-something, I think. Oh. Ahem. Anyway, if it's any consolation, I hear that Jet Fighter pilots have that problem much worse than most people. All that acceleration, you know. Don't worry -- your secret is safe with me!
Marcus
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Post by marcus on Jun 7, 2011 6:35:07 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will snidely snicker at someone today. That's not going to make you many friends, you know. Instead, you should cheerfully chuckle.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 7, 2011 7:27:22 GMT
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 7, 2011 11:13:00 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will be conducting naval maneuvers in the bathtub today, when you will have an unfortunate accident involving your toy submarine. The visit to the emergency room will be most embarrasing.
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Post by marcus on Jun 8, 2011 9:44:41 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will dredge something up from the collective unconscious, but after a moment's reflection, you will toss it back. Also, you will make an embarrassing sound in mixed company.
Oh dear!!!!, pardon me
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 8, 2011 17:10:04 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will combine a therapeutic technique based on rapid eye movement with yoga postures, creating something that looks so silly, passers by will actually fall over laughing.
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 8, 2011 18:47:05 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Your cat will go thundering past you on the linoleum, but will miss the doorway by an inch or so. You will hear an odd "ping!" sound as her head hits the doorjamb. No harm will be done.
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Post by marcus on Jun 9, 2011 6:21:05 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Try to be logical, today. It's your only hope. (Which is considerably better than it would be if your "only hope" was some old geezer on the desert planet Falderol and you had to send a robot shaped like an underarm roller-type deodorant off to find him. But not as fun.)
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 9, 2011 17:18:47 GMT
www.humorscope.com/
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You'll accidentally eat one of those fried Szechwan chili peppers today, and it will bring tears to your eyes. This will strike you as odd, given that you will be eating a ham sandwich at the time.
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 9, 2011 18:24:42 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will make pizza from scratch today (dough and everything), and will beam with pride. As well you should.
No i will not 
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Post by marcus on Jun 10, 2011 6:06:11 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will bolt up from your bed, grinning like a maniac, and shout "labor omnia vincit!" (the motto of Oklahoma) in ringing heroic tones. This could be the start of something interesting...
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 10, 2011 10:56:35 GMT
Love Disco!!!!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you'll go buy a white jacket, and start working towards your dream: the resurgence of Disco! And you'll be successful, too! Yes, over the course of your life, you'll get literally several people interested.
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 10, 2011 18:30:55 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Oddly, despite the impression you gained from a television commercial, your new soap will not inspire unusual levels of grinning in the shower.
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Post by marcus on Jun 11, 2011 17:49:58 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
A huge spacecraft will hover over your dwelling structure today, and secretly analyze you down to the last parasitic microbe in your epidermal layers. They will be on the point of making contact with humans, and offering us technology to cure all illness, let us live indefinately while looking like healthy 20-year-olds, and give us the ability to travel interstellar distances in an eyeblink...when they spot you making something with SPAM. After a bit of horrified bleeping at each other, they will zoom off, never to return.
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 11, 2011 18:20:19 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Be nice to your coworkers today. Cow orkers have a darned tough job, so it's good to make them feel special once in a while.
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 11, 2011 20:15:27 GMT
www.humorscope.com/
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Beware of Doug.
Short and sweet....any Doug's out there?
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Post by marcus on Jun 12, 2011 7:35:46 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will seek out new life, and new civilizations. You won't find any, of course, but you will discover a really excellent Chinese restaurant in the process.
(No 'Doug' here, Lynnrose - keep looking, you might get lucky. lol)
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 12, 2011 12:11:13 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will dream about arrows without points, tonight, and it will have a deeply spiritual significance for you. You won't know what to make of the episode with the lime jello, though.
"You won't know what to make of the episode with the lime jello, though." Yes i will 
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 12, 2011 21:46:34 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you will be overcome with a sudden strong urge to learn to play a wooden flute while cavorting around in the forest. I recommend you treat those separately at first. You'll find what you need under "Music, Instruction" and under "Cavorting, Instruction". Don't get talked into buying any cavorting supplies, though -- they're really only needed by professionals.
Lol, these horoscopes are so funny. Wish I did have time to cavort!
Marcus, hope you saved me some Chinese?
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Post by marcus on Jun 13, 2011 6:41:57 GMT
Chop sticks will be the order of the day, Lynnrose.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will discover that you can amuse your friends by pretending that your hand is a tsetse fly, and "walking" it along the table. Your friends are easily amused, as it turns out.
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 13, 2011 13:16:06 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will stumble across conclusive proof that cilantro is actually the main ingredient in detergents and soaps, and that its culinary use started as a joke -- it's just that most people are too shy to admit that they'd rather spray Lysol on their burrito than put cilantro on it.
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 13, 2011 14:53:33 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will discover a new "5th law" of Thermodynamics. The first law says "you can't win". The second law says "you can't break even". The 5th law, however, says "never draw to an inside straight".
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Post by marcus on Jun 14, 2011 17:31:59 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will be on your way downtown today, when you will be struck by an odd thought. Fortunately it will bounce harmlessly off you.
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 14, 2011 18:16:38 GMT
On this day 14 July
1965 - Bob Dylan recorded "Like A Rolling Stone."
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 14, 2011 19:09:07 GMT
Wrong thread Elvis lol
www.humorscope.com/
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Nobody knows the trouble you've seen. Let's just hope you can somehow keep it that way!
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Post by marcus on Jun 15, 2011 6:22:15 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will buy a package of those birthday-party confetti-blaster thingies, and will rig booby traps for several of your friends. One of them will die of a heart-attack, due to the surprise, and you'll be plagued with horrible undying guilt for the rest of your life. Plus, you will run out of toothpaste, today.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jun 15, 2011 16:14:00 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
There will be a great disturbance in the force, today. Fortunately, it will be caused by a really funny lawyer joke sweeping through the Universe, so there's no reason for you to worry.
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Post by elvisuk on Jun 15, 2011 18:22:47 GMT
Thats wear it went i was looking for that thread it escaped 
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