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Post by Lynnrose on May 13, 2011 16:31:08 GMT
Me.....
www.humorscope.com/
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today one or more close relations will pout. You will stoically endure this, and will steadfastly refuse to relinquish control of the remote control. 
I am always in charge of the remote anyway!
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Post by elvisuk on May 13, 2011 18:24:11 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You'll accidentally eat one of those fried szechuan chili peppers today, and it will bring tears to your eyes. This will strike you as odd, given that you will be eating a ham sandwich at the time.
"szechuan chili peppers" i do not think so as i don't like them  and i do have tears in my eyes, it's galled hay fever ;D
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Post by Roz on May 13, 2011 21:05:44 GMT
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today is not a good day to be yourself. In fact, that might even be dangerous. Be someone else, until further notice.
;D
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Post by Lynnrose on May 14, 2011 12:57:22 GMT
Today....
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You are about to scare several people out of their socks! It will turn out that they have very ugly feet. 
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Post by Lynnrose on May 18, 2011 18:41:32 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Another day of social convention defiance, today. You'll refuse to wear clothes in the "normal" fashion (if at all), and you'll begin all your business correspondence: "My Darling Snookums:".
This outfit will do.....
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Post by marcus on May 18, 2011 18:51:22 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
To your vast embarrassment, you will be unable to describe the differences between halibut, sole, and flounder. It's easy to remember, though -- they are (in order) "big", "small", and "clumsy."
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Post by Lynnrose on May 19, 2011 13:12:49 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will acquire a slight sniffle, today. (A sniffle is a cross between a dachshund and a cairn terrier, bred especially to spot helicopters.) 
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Post by elvisuk on May 19, 2011 13:33:36 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Someone named "Bob" is plotting to whap you with a calla lilly. If you carry long-stemmed carnations around with you today, you will be able to retaliate swiftly and effectively.
 hear we go again ;D
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Post by Lynnrose on May 20, 2011 7:52:53 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will mortally offend a friend today when a hilarious joke pops unbidden into your mind during your friend's sad description of his problems.
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Post by ken on May 21, 2011 19:57:34 GMT
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will discover the secret to becoming a great artist! You can stick anything you want on the wall, the trick is to make people think deep thought went into it. For example, spray-paint a bathroom plunger gold, and stick little angel wings on it. Call it "Life In The Details".
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Post by Lynnrose on May 21, 2011 21:28:09 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Excellent time to race one of those little Shriners cars up and down the sidewalk twenty thousand million times. Also, you'll meet an angel, but don't let on that you know who she really is.
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Post by Lynnrose on May 22, 2011 20:53:43 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
In one of those amusing mix-ups that happen so frequently in modern life, a friend of yours will have mistaken your reference to "her suit" and thought you said "hirsute". Still, this may prove a little awkward.
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Post by ken on May 23, 2011 12:31:08 GMT
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Beware! Someone is about to come give you a hug.
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Post by Lynnrose on May 23, 2011 13:26:17 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Excellent day to make strange "hooting" noises, while hiding in the bushes.
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Post by elvisuk on May 23, 2011 13:38:14 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will hear a strange flapping sound today. Glancing outside, you will see a precision drill team marching by wearing scuba flippers and waving feather dusters. Avoid eye contact. Stay indoors.
It happens every day to me
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Post by Lynnrose on May 24, 2011 7:41:07 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you should sit down (someplace comfy), and ask yourself if you even care. You shouldn't. It's not your fault, you've been trying as hard as you can, so you shouldn't care. Not if they're going to act like that.
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Post by ken on May 24, 2011 23:56:15 GMT
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
This is a good time to remember Einstein's advice, to make things as simple as possible, but no simpler. That applies both to theoretical physics, and in your case, to dinner.
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Post by elvisuk on May 25, 2011 0:17:21 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You'll feel a little tired and run down, today. Just a hunch, but that could explain those tire tracks on your shirt, as well...
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Post by ken on May 25, 2011 7:38:18 GMT
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
This week, you'll discover a trick to make those meetings seem more interesting. Imagine that everyone else has a ferret clinging to their head.
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Post by Lynnrose on May 25, 2011 7:58:31 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will win 12,000 cases of peanut brittle today, on a call-in game show. That's a LOT of peanut brittle, as it turns out.
www.humorscope.com/
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Post by marcus on May 25, 2011 10:29:33 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Your butler will quit, today, in a tiff. Since you can only view gif and jpeg, though, it
will be quite some time before you realize that.
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on May 25, 2011 18:20:36 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Beware of lightning, today! Either stay indoors, or leave your aluminum foil hat behind. (I know, I know. It's hard. But I've learned to live without mine, most of the time.)
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Post by Lynnrose on May 26, 2011 7:30:36 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will be offered a chance to go on a journey soon. It sounds like fun, but you might benefit by looking up La Isla Zancudo in a Spanish-English dictionary before you pack your bags...
....can't find it on Google
www.humorscope.com/
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Post by elvisuk on May 26, 2011 13:18:20 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will have to take someone aside and gently explain that a "briefcase" is not actually for undergarments. Remember: you probably made a few silly mistakes yourself, when you were just starting out.
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Post by marcus on May 26, 2011 14:22:12 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will realize that you've always wanted to have the biggest ball of string in town, and will start collecting odd bits of string at every opportunity. Eventually, you will make it into the Guiness Book of World Records, right next to the Giant Happy Tape Ball record set by Mr. S. Boondoggle.
Marcus
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Post by ken on May 26, 2011 18:06:40 GMT
"Isla de Zancudo," means, "Mosquito Island," Lynnrose. I don't know if its in a Castillian Spanish dictonary, its Ibro Americano.
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Post by ken on May 26, 2011 18:09:30 GMT
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You are about to get yourself into a bit of a jam. Strawberry, I think.
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Post by Lynnrose on May 26, 2011 20:08:35 GMT
Thanks KC, I get the 'joke' now 
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Post by Lynnrose on May 27, 2011 17:05:10 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Nothing especially remarkable will happen today. You will get a strange urge to talk like Ziggy Marley, but it will pass.
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Post by marcus on May 27, 2011 17:26:56 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Excellent day to crouch behind furniture, and peer over the top. If you can do that while wearing one of those Groucho Marx noses, so much the better.
Marcus
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and i do have tears in my eyes, it's galled hay fever ;D
hear we go again ;D
