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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 27, 2011 7:17:47 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Beware of turnips.
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 27, 2011 15:01:30 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Someone will soon approach you with an idea. Stay well clear of it.
turnips, yep you have too watch them turnips LynnRose
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Post by marcus on Jul 28, 2011 7:08:37 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to burst into song. Nothing too fancy, mind you -- no arias. The theme song from "The Beverly Hillbillies" will do nicely. Why not see how many people you can get to sing along?
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 28, 2011 14:17:29 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today an ecologically-minded organic foods co-op will move into your home, while you're away. You'll be smelling whole-wheat fig bars for months, even if you succeed in extricating them. (Which is unlikely, in today's political climate. They need somewhere to hide. Have a heart.)
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 28, 2011 14:26:55 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
An old man with bad teeth will whack you with his cane today, as you walk past. He'll pretend it was an accident.
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 29, 2011 8:47:32 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Excellent time to do some personal reengineering. I mean, face it - your mother simply wasn't much of an engineer...
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Post by marcus on Jul 29, 2011 17:15:33 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will find an alien artifact behind the cushion in the sofa. Point the pointy end away from you, if you push the little bumpy thing. Personally, I'd just leave it alone.
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 29, 2011 18:39:22 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will make the bold move from fidgeting to twiddling. Just please be careful.
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 30, 2011 9:39:52 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Someone will turn a cold shoulder to you, and your feelings will be hurt. You'll get even by turning a tepid elbow to them, later. Just don't let it escalate to the blazing ankles stage, is all.
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 30, 2011 13:03:07 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will meet someone with a really "cute" sneeze.
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Post by marcus on Jul 30, 2011 17:21:23 GMT
"Twelve things to remember: 1. The value of time 2. The success of perseverance 3. The pleasure of working 4. The dignity of simplicity 5. The worth of character 6. The power of kindness 7. The influence of example 8. The obligation of duty 9. The wisdom of economy 10. The virtue of patience 11. The improvement of talent 12. The joy of originating" -- Marshall Field
Marcus
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Post by marcus on Jul 31, 2011 10:44:07 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you'll try the old "goat in a box" trick, on your new boss. It'll backfire, though, and you'll be the one with the clown shoes.
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 31, 2011 12:44:36 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will stack furniture in the bathtub, today. That's just the sort of thing you would do, your friends will say.
Well i do only use the bath once a year 
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 31, 2011 12:45:26 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
It is a joyous time to vaccuum. Yes, you'll have more fun than you can stand, pushing that new vac around. So what, if other people don't understand? Unfortunately, an evil asian gentleman named "Fu" will kidnap your beloved vaccuum cleaner, a few years from now, and you will be faced with an ethical dilemma. Enjoy life while you still can, is my advice.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 1, 2011 8:23:42 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
People will begin complimenting you on how clean you are. You will find this strangely irritating.
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Post by elvisuk on Aug 1, 2011 11:41:00 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
In one of those amusing mix-ups that happen so frequently in modern life, a friend of yours will have mistaken your reference to "her suit" and thought you said "hirsute." Still, this may prove a little awkward.
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Post by marcus on Aug 1, 2011 12:04:52 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to discuss zoospores (motile usually naked and flagellated asexual spores, especially of an alga or lower fungus) with casual aquaintances.
Marcus
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Post by marcus on Aug 2, 2011 6:49:40 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will have to take someone aside and gently explain that a "briefcase" is not actually for undergarments. Remember: you probably made a few silly mistakes yourself, when you were just starting out.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 2, 2011 7:32:56 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Good time to become involved in a secret plot to overthrow someone or something. Personally, I think your best bet is to start small. You can pick up some tips in "Overthrowing Things For Fun And Profit" by Kwan No, M.D., Ph.D.
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Post by elvisuk on Aug 2, 2011 19:27:05 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Someone will give you a card, today. It'll be nice.
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Post by elvisuk on Aug 3, 2011 12:31:36 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will mortally offend a friend today when a hilarious joke pops unbidden into your mind during your friend's sad description of his problems.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 3, 2011 14:46:49 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Late in the day today you will notice that people seem to be staring at your nose. Don't worry. It's probably nothing.
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Post by marcus on Aug 3, 2011 15:24:53 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Your butler will quit, today, in a tiff. Since you can only view gif and jpeg, though, it will be quite some time before you realize that.
Marcus
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Post by marcus on Aug 4, 2011 7:01:47 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will be in an extremely stuffy meeting today, which will seem to last forever. You will be able to liven things up a smidge by putting a few small feathers in your hand, and then "coughing" them out.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 4, 2011 11:35:13 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Excellent day to study entomology -- particularly the order hymenoptera. Be prepared to leap about, howling and whacking your trouser legs.
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Post by marcus on Aug 5, 2011 7:13:08 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will finally get around to exercising! Your cat will look at you like you've gone completely whacky. Don't be intimidated, though -- at least you never get distracted and forget that you're holding your leg up behind your head.
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Aug 5, 2011 14:29:21 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) You will receive a painful bonk on the head, today, while riding the bus downtown. It's your own fault, though, for sitting in front of that trombone player.  |
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 5, 2011 14:41:54 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will lurk, today. There's nothing that wrong with lurking, after all, and it's occasionally somewhat refreshing. In fact, you'll soon begin work on How To Lurk, a best-selling self-help book on the topic. 
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Post by marcus on Aug 6, 2011 6:19:12 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
On a pre-arranged signal, you and 3 cohorts will start talking complete gibberish today, leaving the 5th person in your meeting entirely baffled. Act as if he's behaving strangely, and look concerned.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 6, 2011 13:14:03 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
That new employee seems honest, and is a really hard worker - so who cares if she wants to wear a studded dog collar? You'll have to draw the line at butt sniffing, though.
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