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Post by marcus on Jul 6, 2011 6:22:02 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today is the second-to-last day, of the 19th segment of your life. Time to learn to appreciate tofu (bean curd).
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 6, 2011 7:25:56 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you will be overcome with a sudden strong urge to learn to play a wooden flute while cavorting around in the forest. I recommend you treat those separately at first. You'll find what you need under "Music, Instruction" and under "Cavorting, Instruction." Don't get talked into buying any cavorting supplies, though -- they're really only needed by professionals.
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Fozzie
Full Member
I like a nice chilled salad with radishes and hard boiled eggies. I like playing Scrabble, too.
Posts: 233
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Post by Fozzie on Jul 6, 2011 18:34:28 GMT
It's true! How spooky is that? I couldn't resist the temptation ot toot and cavort! I've been cavorting and tooting all day!
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 6, 2011 18:41:50 GMT
These Humorscopes suit you Foz, just your sort of humour I always think 
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Post by marcus on Jul 7, 2011 7:03:07 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will discover that you can raise one eyebrow by itself, but not the other. This will aggravate you, and you'll spend the majority of the day in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to correct the situation.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 7, 2011 8:02:10 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Your next fortune cookie will say "See? We told you it taste like chicken!"
www.humorscope.com/
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 7, 2011 13:00:37 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Good day to introduce a bit of randomness into your life. Try getting dressed in the dark, for example (it's what I do).
Me to
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Post by marcus on Jul 8, 2011 6:45:06 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
After years of study in higher mathematics, and a fiendishly complicated topological proof, you will finally be able to prove that half a loaf is exactly 7.412 times better than no bread.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 8, 2011 7:53:43 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
A very short and hairy person will bother you today. Unfortunately, you will be unable to ignore them, try though you might.
Could they be talking about Fozzie?
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 8, 2011 18:32:07 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will learn how to tell the difference between an octopus and a cuttlefish. Aside, that is, from the octopus' greater problem solving capability.
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 9, 2011 14:32:31 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you will finally reach the breaking point, since that incessant pounding from your new neighbor's place is driving you nuts! You will storm over there, but what you find will be very bad news indeed. Your new neighbor is the Energizer Bunny.
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Post by marcus on Jul 9, 2011 17:43:45 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will have a nightmare tonight, in which you find yourself dangling from the ceiling, while brightly colored paper maché animals with glowing eyes file into the room. One of them will be carrying a stick. Perhaps you shouldn't eat so much candy before going to bed?
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 9, 2011 18:12:42 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
As a joke, you will hold up a certain air freshener in a bank, today, and announce "this is a Stick Up!." Later, you'll have time to reflect upon the regrettable fact that law enforcement officials are sadly lacking in a sense of humor.
That's about right 
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Post by marcus on Jul 10, 2011 6:41:32 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Secret society day, today. Don't join -- no matter how much you like the secret handshake. Also, good day to swear off pickles.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 10, 2011 12:10:28 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
What fun! You'll be called in to a special meeting at work soon, where someone will have a "pink slip." Sounds like party attire to me!
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 10, 2011 13:38:25 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will find that you can make an incredibly silly sound, and will spend the entire day making it, and then laughing.
Sounds like fun
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 11, 2011 10:48:04 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
And old friend will call today, who you haven't talked to in years. He'll remind you that you owe him money.
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Post by marcus on Jul 11, 2011 12:47:48 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Due to your supreme skill at an obscure video game, you will be abducted by aliens, and asked to save their race from anihilation at the hands (roughly speaking) of evil creatures from between the stars.
Looks like I'm going to be busy!!! lol
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 11, 2011 18:42:46 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) You will tell a total stranger that you're "sick and tired of salad", today. The stranger will recoil in shock and horror. OK  |
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 12, 2011 8:22:08 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Late in the day today you will notice that people seem to be staring at your nose. Don't worry, though. It's probably nothing.
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 12, 2011 8:48:10 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Your ACME Rocket Sled arrives today!
Thats good i did not now i was getting one 
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Post by marcus on Jul 12, 2011 16:01:09 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Extremely poor day to use obscure euphemisms or medical metaphors. In particular, avoid "kajoobies" or "shvontz" like the plague.
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 13, 2011 10:45:44 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
When you were young, your heart was an open book. You used to say "live and let live." But if this ever-changing world, which we live in, makes you give it a miss, say "live and let die." Or something.
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Post by marcus on Jul 13, 2011 12:39:50 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to begin writing that book you've been planning -- "Growing Radishes Indoors." It's an idea whose time has come.
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 13, 2011 14:58:48 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Focus on financial issues today. It's OK to keep putting your money in your mattress, but you might want to switch to paper money. (It's less jingley.)
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Post by marcus on Jul 14, 2011 6:55:49 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Potato awareness day, today. Potatoes have had a tremendous influence on society, since their introduction into Western culture. Just think, for instance, of their effect on Dan Quayle's career!
Marcus
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Post by elvisuk on Jul 14, 2011 12:39:33 GMT
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will try to alleviate the boredom you feel by making something creative with twine. Fortunately, it will work, but you'll need a lot of twine.
Just my Luck
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 14, 2011 13:27:55 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
That bad smell in the closet will get stronger. Time to investigate.
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Post by marcus on Jul 15, 2011 7:06:38 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Ah ha! You will finally have an opportunity to use the word "plumbaginous" in casual conversation today! You will be discussing either bicycles or aircraft, at the time.
(I think the word would probably be 'lumbaginous!)
Marcus
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Post by Lynnrose on Jul 15, 2011 12:43:24 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will have a nightmare tonight, in which you find yourself dangling from the ceiling, while brightly colored papier mache animals with glowing eyes file into the room. One of them will be carrying a stick. Perhaps you shouldn't eat so much candy before going to bed?
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