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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 3, 2013 9:57:40 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You'll become part of the Formal Attire Resurgence movement. Be wary of the Casualist Party though - there's someone out there just dying to spit on your spats.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 4, 2013 7:50:23 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Someone will tell you that you "run funny." Just ignore them. (And be very glad they didn't see you throwing a baseball.)
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Post by marcus on Aug 4, 2013 17:34:25 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will discover a hair growing in an odd place. Don't worry about it, unless the odd place is your eye.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 5, 2013 6:24:40 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
As a joke, you will hold up a certain air freshener in a bank, today, and announce "this is a Stick Up!". Later, you'll have time to reflect upon the regrettable fact that law enforcement officials are sadly lacking in a sense of humor.
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Post by marcus on Aug 5, 2013 14:49:50 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
This will be a day filled with tragically many sneezes. At least it'll be a good opportunity to learn how to sneeze "cute."
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 6, 2013 6:48:24 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Soon you will start work on a mystery novel, "The Curse Of The Mummy's Nose", told from the point of view of your cat, Erik.
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Post by marcus on Aug 6, 2013 17:06:02 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to get lots of water in plastic bottles, and shore up your other earthquake preparations. Nothing to worry about, I'm sure. Well, actually, maybe just a little to worry about.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 7, 2013 8:11:41 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Hmm. Hard to read this one. The carrot stopped right between "catches horrible disfiguring disease" and "loses everything in major earthquake." I guess you can pick whichever one you want, in this case.
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Post by marcus on Aug 7, 2013 10:45:07 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Excellent day to study entomology -- particularly the order hymenoptera. Be prepared to leap about, howling and whacking your trouser legs.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 9, 2013 6:25:02 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
A good day to start getting your affairs in order. You shouldn't be having affairs anyway, so the least you can do is tidy them up.
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Post by marcus on Aug 9, 2013 14:51:54 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will combine a therapeutic technique based on rapid eye movement with yoga postures, creating something that looks so silly, passers by will actually fall over laughing.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 10, 2013 8:35:04 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Good day to ponder the parable of the itsy bitsy spider, and the futility of climbing up water spouts during spring weather. You'll be able to apply this lesson to one of your current relationships.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 11, 2013 6:26:44 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will have a completely boring, uneventful day. Then you'll go home, eat the same thing you always eat, watch a re-run, and go to bed. Then you'll be abducted by aliens, who will tease you.
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Post by marcus on Aug 11, 2013 12:27:33 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will realize that you've always wanted to have the biggest ball of string in town, and will start collecting odd bits of string at every opportunity. Eventually, you will make it into the Guiness Book of World Records, right next to the Giant Happy Tape Ball record set by Mr. S. Boondoggle.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 12, 2013 8:54:44 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Time for a career change. Have you considered the exciting and lucrative career of "despot"? One of the nice perks about that is that you can wear a rediculous hat without people laughing at you.
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Post by marcus on Aug 12, 2013 11:35:29 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Secret society day, today. Don't join -- no matter how much you like the secret handshake. Also, good day to swear off pickles.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 13, 2013 8:29:26 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
An old man with bad teeth will whack you with his cane today, as you walk past. He'll pretend it was an accident.
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Post by marcus on Aug 13, 2013 17:52:30 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
This is an excellent day to dare. Dare to eat a peach. Dare to wear your trousers rolled, and walk along the beach. Dare to be different. That sort of thing.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 14, 2013 7:42:28 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will spend this week trying to get to the bottom of things. The good news is, you will succeed! The bad news is, the bottom of things is sometimes ugly, and often smells bad.
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Post by marcus on Aug 14, 2013 18:02:12 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will believe a completely rediculous hoax about a computer virus today, and everyone will tease you mercilessly.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 15, 2013 6:05:14 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will join the ranks of the hipster cognoscienti. It'll be fun at first, but later you'll start secretly craving casseroles, and it will eventually become such an intolerable pressure that you'll abandon your pale, pierced friends with the clever haircuts and move to Minnesota.
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Post by marcus on Aug 15, 2013 14:25:07 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will be offered a chance to go on a journey soon. It sounds like fun, but you might benefit by looking up La Isla Zancudo in a Spanish-English dictionary before you pack your bags...
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Post by marcus on Aug 17, 2013 18:36:06 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will uncover astonishing proof that the dinosaurs died out due to a retrovirus contagion. Furthermore, you will find evidence of a government cover-up of research that indicates the same thing is likely to happen to humans. Don't worry, though.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 17, 2013 18:56:56 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will read an oevre in a new genre. Actually, it will be an X-Men(tm) comic book, but you've never been one of those stuffy people who are unwilling to try new things.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 18, 2013 8:44:07 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will begin an evil project, in secret. You will be successful. Although why you want to produce a cross between a St. Bernard and a chihuahua is anybody's guess.
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Post by marcus on Aug 18, 2013 10:23:07 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will receive an honor from a foreign dignitary today. Everyone else will be horribly jealous of you.
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Post by marcus on Aug 19, 2013 16:39:58 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to make sure you are prepared for a big earthquake. Get bottled water, a first-aid kit, canned food, flashlights, transistor radio, sturdy hiking boots, and a feather boa.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 19, 2013 16:57:52 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Good time to invest in stock. (The canned kind, not the dry kind.)
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Post by marcus on Aug 20, 2013 16:11:51 GMT
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you'll suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and believe me, that'll hurt.
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Post by Lynnrose on Aug 20, 2013 16:58:07 GMT
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You may lose sight of what is truly important to you, if you're not careful. In other words, it not whether you win or lose, it's whether you end up with your leg in a cast for 3 months.
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