Post by Roz on Jul 3, 2010 17:27:03 GMT
Thank you for calling today
Our staff are here to inform or discuss
But first let me assure you that
Your call is very important to us
With every hour that passes
Our commitment to you grows stronger
And so we'll play the birdie song
And ignore you for a little longer
Thank you for calling today
Your call is in a queue
I think you might as well forget
Anything else you had to do
We applaud your great assistance
In this long and hard endeavour
Please dial '1' for a 20 minute message
Of no relevance to you whatsoever
Dial '2' to access our menu
Dial '3' to access nothing at all
Dial '4' to be mysteriously disconnected
And have to make another call
Thank you for calling today
To avail of our voicemail facility
We thank you for your patience
And continuing stupidity
Your call is very important
We want you to know that we care
Press the star key to speak to a human being
Ah, fooled you there!
Dial 2 for the chance to dial 1
Dial 1 for the chance to dial 2
Dial 3 for disconnection
And the subsequent deja vu
Press the keys marked £ and *
And then your 19 digit pin
We'll know exactly who you are
But we still won't let you in
And while you drift on passing time
And contemplate infinities
Here's the theme from the Deer Hunter
For a further forty minutes
We installed the latest technology
And business just blossomed and grew
Thank you for calling the Samaritans
...your call is in a queue
